Articles on Relationships and Sex

Can Compulsive Porn Use Influence Erectile Function and/or Delay Ejaculation?

I am increasingly seeing both heterosexual and gay men presenting with erectile dysfunction or delayed ejaculation when trying to have penetrative sex with their partners.  They have ruled out any medical problems and have no difficulties with erections when they masturbate.  On further questioning some of them tell me that they always use porn when masturbating and are doing this a few times a week to a few times a day.  Porn use does not cause a problem for most people but if it is out of control it can be very distressing.  By out of control I mean that men may be putting their jobs at risk by accessing porn in the work place.  They are risking their relationships by not being able to have sex with their partners and they are risking prosecution if they are leaving porn accessible on home computers where children can see it.  The ability to conceive also becomes a problem if the heterosexual man is unable to ejaculate inside the vagina.

Men may have ten or twenty porn site tabs open in one masturbation session in order to increase novelty and arousal.  They are then finding it hard to become aroused with a partner. Partners have real and imperfect bodies and can't offer the same variety of sexual scenarios.  Partner sex is effortful and requires communication and engagement with another.  

There is a useful website which goes into the neurological changes and reward effect on the brain which occurs when watching porn http://yourbrainonporn.com/

Many men tell me they feel very guilty and unsatisfied after watching porn and this guilt and the ensuing anxiety is similar to that experienced by other people engaged in compulsive activity such as gambling.  A negative and vicious circle develops.

The other problem that can occur is that men can become accustomed to vigorous masturbation techniques with a very tight hand, or prone on their bed.  They may then find that the stimulation of the vagina or mouth of their partner is not be sufficient to maintain an erection or achieve climax.  Anal sex can also be problematic if ejaculation is delayed and both partners become tired or sore.  The good news is that with commitment to change, and the right support masturbatory techniques can be modified so that sufficient arousal can be induced with reduced pressure and friction.   Take a look at this website http://www.healthystrokes.com/ which discusses masturbation techniques.  

If you have concerns about your porn use you can go to this website which has a questionnaire to help you assess whether or not, you have a compulsive sexual problem and information about where to get help.  

www.sexaddictionhelp.co.uk

You may also like to attend a group like Sex Addicts Anonymous or Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.  Groups can offer support and personal sponsors to help you stay on track.  Go to the websites below to find  groups local to you.

www.slaauk.org

http://saauk.info/en/

Masturbation is very enjoyable for many people and porn can be a helpful tool for arousal.   I suggest that when it gets in the way of partner sex or causes men to take serious risks at work and at home then it can become a problem and needs to be addressed.  This article is aimed at men but I acknowledge the problem can also affect women.

You can also get support and information by consulting with a psychosexual therapist.